Please sir- can I have some afters?

This is the best dessert I have ever had in a restuarant. Picture the scene- I was at the top of the space needle. Random creepy messages kept appearing due to the circular effect of the building. A man was preparing to propose. But then the dessert menu came. I wanted chocolate. I needed chocolate. Even though I was in North America I took a risk and ordered it. I wasn't quite prepared for what came next.

It was a rich chocolate mouse with wafer-thin chocolate pieces stacked on top. It was drizzled with icing sugar and some sort of sauce. A strawberry finished it off.

Whats YOUR favourite dessert?

The USA's first wind farm.

I was watching the Daily Show with John Stewart and they did a piece about how they are planning on building an off-shore wind farm in Nantucket near Boston but the rich people don't want them to in case it spoils the view. The guy from the daily show was posing as a reporter. He went to the person heading the campaign against the wind turbines and the showed him an artists impression of what the turbines would look like. They were SO tiny on the horizon because they were 5 miles from shore. It was really ridiculous. The reporter feigned shock, "Oh my god., As a reporter I see things that get me right here. I'm going to share this with the world". The woman took him seriously and it was hilarious.

But it proves how much Americans are still against renewable energy sources.

A wind farm 1 mile off the British coast. Look closely.

Central London flooded

The surge of water in the Thames finally reached Central London. Does that mean the Woolwich Ferry (that I went on today) is now the only way to cross the river?

List Of Towers I Have Been To.

Extensive research from my blogs' viewers confirm that you people enjoy reading lists. I promised lists. This 1 is a list of all the random towers that I have been to. If you have been to any of the towers then share in the comments section. If you haven't then mention tall structures that you have been to.

Blackpool Tower, Blackpool, England: The ugliest of all the towers.

Calgary Tower, Calgary, Canada: I posted a letter from the top.

BT Tower, London, England: I used to call it the Post Office tower.

Skylon Tower, Niagara Falls, Canada: Good view of the falls from the top.

Space Needle, Seattle, USA: Had one of the best restuarants I have ever been to at the top.

CN Tower, Toronto, Canada: The glass floor worried me.

Harbour Centre, Vancouver, Canada: Its a tower in a building.

Homer Simpson on a hill

Homer Simpson has been painted right next to the Cerne Abbas Giant. Well they have to do something to promote the film in OAP riddled Dorset.

Of course both drawings are very old, one being 4000 years and the other being drawn in the 1980s(!)

Fridge/freezers

How come fridges have lights but freezers don't?

3rd Storm Video

2nd Storm video

1st Storm video

Storm Of The Month

The other day at 5pm thunder rumbled across the urban sprawl of East London. Brontophobics cowered, WW2 veterans dusted off their rifles. I was cooking dinner but as I opened the front door the rain came down. And it rained hard. Within 15 minutes the front garden was flooded. Mini-rivers were running down the gutters. Meanwhile the thunder and lightning lashed across the suburban streets. Hailstones the size of peas came down. I took my camera phone and recorded some movies. Watch out for the man getting soaked by a car driving through a huge puddle in 1 video. I was unlucky not to have caught the lightning on film.

Last Day at the Smart Centre- again!

Friday was my last day at the Smart Centre. I got 3 cards and a box of hand-selected Thorntons milk chocolates. The card the children made me was the best one.

Chocolates? Yes please.

Afterwards most of the staff and I went to a Mexican restuarant in Wimbledon.

Most people had burger and chips though.

Jesus Christ had mammary glands.

I was on the underground the other day on my way to work when an amusing thing happened.

Time: 8:10am

Line: Northern

I was on the Northern Line. The underground train was pretty busy. Virtually everyone was reading either a newspaper or a book. Then, at Elephant and Castle station, it happened.

Black guy, quite tall, shoddy clothes, cardboard sign on a peice of string round his neck, crucifix at the ready, bible in hand. He was attempting to get everyone to apologise for thier sins. Lets listen in:

"I have been with da lord for 2 years now. 2 years I have been repenting ma sins. Now you must repent your sins. Jesus loves you. He will accept. Give yourself over to the lord by putting a pound in the box. God wants you to put a pound in the box. Jesus loves you. I have been living on the milk of Christ. Christs' milk feeds me. Taste the milk of Christ. I live on the milk to Christ. It appeases my sin."

The British public resoluted ignored him, instead deciding to opt for the 'I will pretend its not happening' technique. They studied every word they were reading, digesting every syllabel, re-reading every sentence. Anything but acknowledge he was there.

I wanted to enquire of the man 2 things

a) In the bible the Pharisees forbade the wearing of a crucifix so if he has read the bible in his hand surely he would know that and

b) Does Christ lactate?

Unfortunatly he got off at Stockwell before I could ask him.

Should I get my hair cut?

Since the dawn of time men have debated (women have better things to do) whether or not I should get a haircut. Socrates was stumped as was Nostradamus.

But now I put it to you; should I?

Im back

I am sorry for the pause in my blogging. I know you have been living day-to-day. But now I am back with more of your favourites:

jokes
photos
mountain ranges
political monologues

the lot!

Hairstyle

Who thinks my hair would look good in the style of the man on this webpage?

Don't become a slave to slavery

Today was the 200th anniversary of a hollow and watered-down law banning slavery in the British Empire. It was basically implemented by a very young Prime Minster (Pitt the Younger who was 24) with the help of a young minster and advisor- William Wilberforce. Parliament 200 years ago didn't look anymore kindly on 2 whippersnappers making laws then than they do now. In fact the youngest current MP is 32 (Sarah Teather). The Abolition of the Slave Trade Act which became law in March 1807 by which time William Wilberforce was 48 and Pitt the Younger had been dead for 1 year and he was 47 when he died. But they were both very young when they started the abolitionist movement. Slaves were still be traded in the empire decades after the law was pasted because it was difficult to stop the super-powerful slave-owners. Some slaves were even worse off after the law was passed because they were kicked off of the plantations but nobody wanted to hire them anymore. At least when they were slaves they got shelter and food.

Nevertheless I went to Brixton (the heartland of Afro-Britons) and watched a movie about apartheid at the Lonely Planet film festival. The film I saw was called Catch a Fire. It was an excellent film. It reminded me of Hotel Rwanda. Catch a Fire was about a black South African in 1980 and his struggle against the white South African secret service.

Anti-slave protester who tried to attack the Prime Minster and Queen today on the 200th anniversary of the end of slavery service at Westminster Abbey

The Domino effect.......

Yesterday Robyn and I were in a pound shop in East Ham called Manny's Two. It is a very cramped shop with many objects piled up high and narrow walkways between the veritable Aladdin's cave. As Robyn and I were picked our way through this treasure trove of delights we spied an elderly eastern European woman. She had a sour, wizened face and she grimaced at us with contempt of our age and stunning good looks (we are a handsome couple you see). Anyway we were going opposite ways down the walkways until we got to a 90degree bend. Then, suddenly, almost slowly, a stack of pots, pans and crockery about 4 feet high started toppling- set in motion by the old lady as Robyn (who was the closest) was at least 1metre away. We both lunged towards the declining mass of kitchenware. We just about caught some of it but it was too late; the initial topple had triggered a domino effect round the store. Half of the central area was crashing down around Robyn and I (strangely enough not the old lady). We struggled to catch the falling kitchenware and housewares but it was a largely futile attempt. Pots crashed onto the floor, saucepans clattered onto cheese graters and lemon zesters toppled casserole dishes. After half of the central stack had fallen there was a sudden, uneasy silence. The woman scowled at us; she may as well have pointed a finger. But she broke the silence by muttering a couple of sentences of a Russian-like language before turning tail and disappearing the other way down the aisle. Robyn and I tried fruitlessly to pick up the merchandise off of the floor. 2 male shopkeepers were bearing down on us in seconds. Robyn prompted me towards the door. We escaped Pompeii and burst out onto the street laughing.

We only wanted a small plastic basket.

First List; Mountain Ranges

I have decided, for want of any better subject to blog about, to do lists every week or so. These lists will be informative and interesting and give the impression that I regularly update my blog. The list this week will be:

Mountain Ranges I Have Been To:

Canada:

Rocky Mountains
Alberta Badlands#
Coast Mountains
Canadian Cascades*
Pierce Range
Beaufort Range
Pelham Range
Somerset Range
Seymour Range
Gowlland Range
Inside Passage#
Niagara Escarpment

Rocky Mountains October 2005 Columbia Mountains

USA:

Cascade Mountains*
Adirondack Mountains
Appalachian Mountains
Olympic Range

Shawangunk Mountains

Taconic Mountains

Okanogan Range

Cascade Mountains October 2006

England:

Chiltern Hills
Cotswolds
Dartmoor Hills
Exmoor Hills
Lake District
Malvern Hills
Mendip Hills
North Downs
Peak District
Pennines
Salisbury Plain Downs
South Downs
Lake District June 2006

Wales:

The Brecon Beacons
Black Mountains
Cambrian Mountains

Black Mountains September 2006

Scotland:

Southern Uplands
Scottish Highlands
Cheviot Hills

Southern Uplands August 2006

France:

Parc naturel régional des Vosges du Nord

Crête de Valenciennes August 2005

Greenland:

Watkins Range

Watkins Range from the air November 2006

*= Geographically the same range

#=Strictly speaking not ranges but still peaks of elevation

Bloody Yuppies.

This has to be a defining photo of the changing face of Pakistan- a human rights lawyer after being whacked with a police trucheon. He was protesting over the senior Pakistani lawyer being put in prison. He has ruined his nice suit.

Last Day at the Smart Centre

Friday the 9th of March was my last day at the Smart Centre, Morden. The children made me a card, the adults bought me a card and gave me a box of celebrations. Also 4 people gave me their phone numbers. I had only worked there for 3 weeks.